HANGING
Monday, September 26, 2011
The rain pelted against the window. Pitter patter pitter patter it goes. I looked out and I saw people scurrying away to a shady area while I sat here reminiscing all those times we had together. I could feel tears brimming upon my eyes to see that now he is now slowly trying to distance himself from me.
"It makes me feel desperate and pathetic that I need him more than he needed me. And that I love him more than he love me."
I wonder what happened to us. I kept asking myself, WAS IT ME ? Was I the one being too clingy ? Or was it you, who doesn't put enough effort till I have this feeling that haunt me for days and keep lingering in my mind. I begged all those thoughts to go away to leave me alone.
I told myself, if you want to talk to me, you would. That is why when you did not reply me, I did not ask you, did not confronted you, I did nothing but staring at my phone hoping that each time my phone vibrates, your name will appear but no matter how many times my phone vibrates, it's just not you.
"What once bring happiness now only brings misery."
As I sat here, lost in my own thoughts, I asked myself, the times when we were together, was it true ? Do you know what's worst when you found out that the person you love lied ? Is that you wonder whether all these times the things that they say or do was it true or was it fake ? Is this the real you now ? Those days when you were making me fall for you, was it a mask that you put on to deceive me ?
You led me on when clearly I have no hope. You wanted me, you had me. And now when you know I am helplessly head over heels with you, you decided it's best that you start to distance yourself from me. Do you know how much it hurts to see that I walk in front of you and yet you don't give a damn on me. You dint even notice me.
Please don't leave me hanging. Is either you want me or you don't want me. I want nothing in between that. I'm sorry if you think that I don't trust you or that I doubt what you did to me, it's because you were the one who made me feel that way. I am so sorry that I am not good enough for you.
ps : Please, I want back the guy that I first fall in love with :(
Labels: emon-ess
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