CRAZY
Monday, June 24, 2013
The past four days has been a whirlwind of emotional roller coaster ride for me. The mood swings have been somewhat having a soul and body of itself and control me. Blaming it on the period ? Nah, that will not do for I don't know what triggered the crying spells and tantrums in me. I wish I knew so I can solve it and be okay again but then again.
It is only the first week of semester and I am already feeling depressed and having teary spells instead of having positive vibes or feeling enthusiastic about the new semester. With the last semesters results not out and there is 100% I am failing big time it pretty sums up to the horrible feeling I am having right now. God, please bless me.
I wonder when I started to become this depressed and so pessimist about life ? Was it two years back when I first moved here and every night I call out to my parents name and hearing their voice echoing in my ears and having their visions hover me every night before I sleeps made me rip my soul apart. I was lost and hanging and I have no one at all. I shut myself out from the world for a season, only accompanied by my tears every night.
It's been more than two years and sadly, I am still not okay.
At times before I bid the world good night those memories which I've tried so hard to contain in the depths of my brain sometimes come knocking and begged to see me. Those nights would be so hard to endure, every day in here to be exact is hard to endure but what made me strong and made me tell myself that I can do this, is you, the person who has the ability to make me forgo anything.
Life's been hard this days. I feel so empty and angry. I want to go back to the place I belong, somewhere I can be happy.
I miss you old self.
"Always think positive."
But sometimes is just hard, right ?
ps : thinking of deleting my blog.
1:34 PM