I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL
Thursday, November 29, 2012
It was a dark cold night. The moon hid behind the clouds fearing to lit the pavements and the road that night. It was a quiet and a cold black night and the sounds of the night creatures could not be heard except for the rattling of leaves and trees.
She threw herself on the bed, in her hand was a crumpled picture of which she held tightly to her chest. Tears started to roll down her cheeks, bit by bit until she broke into sobs and tears which she had already held it in for too long. But her desperate pleas and cries were all swallowed by the night until she realise that she was completely alone. In her tears, her lips kept chanting his name, a name where once sound so familiar now turned into a distant memory.
***************
"Please. Tell me that this is not the end for us. Tell me that you still love me and you'll never let me go."
"I'm sorry."
"No. We can solve this. You and I both know we shouldn't end up like this."
"There's nothing I could do. The spark is gone. It's broken."
**************
She knew there was nothing she could do. It is already the end. Everything she believed in and everything that she had hope for is gone. She felt her whole world just fall apart in front of her and there is nothing that she could do but to just witness everything. Like a body without a soul, she walked towards her desk, took out a paper and a pen and decided that this is it.
My dearest and beloved Alex,
While writing this letter, I asked myself for what seems like a million times, what is it like to truly be in love ? Do we always feel happy or likewise ? I thought the latter and I thought what we had was love but guess I was too absorbed in my own thoughts and my own fantasy to have thought that way. I still can't believe that we just part our seperate ways. What happen to all those promises that we made together ? I guess, it is no longer important now for I'm just a tiny part of your life. I tried to mend all those broken pieces. I tried fixing it. But you just stood there and watched me do it all alone. I beg you not to go but you still do. Tell me, am I that worthless to you ? If you think I had given up on us, I did not but you did. I'm sorry. When you read this letter, I'll be gone like we never knew each other. But I'll bring a part of you with me always cause it'll be lie if I say I no longer love you.
I guess this is what we call goodbye. I love you Alex. I'm sorry If I'm not good enough for you.
Love,
Charlotte
With that she sealed the letter and leave it on her desk beside the withering rose. As she lay on her bed and close her eyes, her ears caught a familiar voice of someone calling her name but it was all too late as the pain has already made it's move.
ps : I can't seem to string the words when my head is all messed up.
Labels: worthless
9:59 PM
