MY RAINBOW
Monday, February 25, 2013
Countless times we took our blessings for granted and I guessed, I'm just one of those people who took it lightly. I thought I was the best, the most superior and I got my head so high in the clouds and I was a snobbish bitch who despise everything and everyone and guess what ? What goes around indeed comes around. Out of the blue, my whole world went pitch black, all the strings that was tied around me was cut. And there I was, drowning and yet trying to emerged back yet I got nothing to hold on to. I lost all hope. I shut myself from the world.
That moment, I swore all I wanted to do was just die. Or dig a graveyard for myself and just throw myself inside and never be heard. Each day passed and my head was filled with countless and never ending depressing thought. The mental torture was so overwhelming that I cried each day as I could no longer stand it. Many people lent me their shoulders, especially those that were very dear to me but I was in a state of denial and disbelief, I refused to get out of the world that I locked myself in. I was surrounded by people that preached me positive thoughts and yet I feel so alone like I was the only one in this whole wide world and whatever I talk echoes back to me.
I hit a rough patch in life.
I dread waking up in the morning. I felt numb towards the world. Nobody understand how is it really feel to have the whole world come crushing down on you. They said they feel bad, feel pity but then again, I am the one feeling it. I am the one who feel all those needle-like words who sew bits and pieces of my skin now. I was the one who was feeling everything and for me nothing else matters as long as I have myself. But then in the end, I decided to give up on myself.
And guess what ?
God gave me a second chance to repent. God gave me a second chance to change for the better, for the future. I made it. I jumped this hurdle. At first I couldn't believe it but then I realised that it's true. I've passed.
Thank you God for your never ending blessing for me. Indeed God is the greatest in this world and no one else. And thank you for everyone who decided to stay with me and did not give up on me and looked down on me. Thank you for being there when no one else would.
I am indeed bless. What more can I ask for ? Thank you for everything. I am eternally greatful :')
11:25 PM