THE TWIST
Friday, June 28, 2013
"If you we could love forever or even live for eternity, I would want to live forever minus a day."
She was puzzled. The sky was a marvel that night, gazillion of stars and constellation blanketed the sky and there they were, underneath the picturesque view holding each other hands while they lay dow in beside each other. She turned and looked at him and asked why he suddenly murmured such words.
"You know darling," he then laughs. "What is life without you if you ask? I would never live a day without you."
She smiled and clutched his hands tightly and just stared at his brown almond hair, the tiny freckles on his face and also how he has a half crooked smile each time he smile and the way his eyes always search for her just made her felt so thankful to have him in her life.
"Are you going to stare at me the whole night ? The sky is a beautiful view." he said while tucking her hair beneath her ears.
"Honestly Harrold, do you think my parents will allow us to marry? After all they objected our relationship."
He planted a kiss on her forehead,"Nothing is gonna happen sweetheart. Have faith."
Her parents were already waiting on the porch for their daughter. They walked hand in hand and she could see that her parents were a little unhappy about her going out with Harrold.
"We thought you'd never bring our daughter back."
"I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Christopher. I promise it won't happen again. Here's your daughter."
Her parents pulled her harshly and she let out and 'ow'.
"Now move along. We can handle her from now."
He sucked in his breath and he then said,"I came here to discuss our marriage."
There was a look of anger in her father's eyes and with gritted teeth he said,"I've told you before, we will never let our daughter marry a peasant like you."
She tried to protest but to no avail. He then walked away with a heavy heart and turned to steal a glance of her but then the door was already shut.
She ran up to her room and cry her hearts out when she heard a knock on the window. It was him, he came to see her.
"Harrold ! What are you doing here ?! My parents will kill you if they found out you've sneaked in."
"Hushhh. I came to give you this letter. Read it before you sleep and made your mind. I'll be waiting for you Jennifer, I'll never give you up."
Before she could say anything, he vanished in the darkness of the night and she opened the letter in her hands.
'Dearest Jennifer,Do you love me as much as I love you ? If you do, come meet me at the railway station tomorrow. We'll go somewhere where no one will find us and know us. Will start anew and accomplished our dreams there. I'll be waiting for you at night. I'll never leave without you. I love you Jennifer, forever and always.
Harrold.'
*********
Ten years. A time long enough for a person to forget or change something well I thought it was the same for me too but how wrong was I when I bumped him into the street just like the first time we met. I could see that he was no longer the 22 years old guy in my memory but he's had a few frown lines on his forehead, grew himself some beard and a moustache and he had some fine lines underneath his eyes. Despite all that, I knew it was him and as he gave me back my papers he asked,"I'm sorry miss but could be possibly the person that I'm looking for? Are you Jennifer by any chance?"
After ten years, the way he said my name could still make the butterflies in my stomach flutter and my knees weak.
"Hi Harrold. It's been a long time."
He smiled. The smile that I've been dreaming to see for the last ten years.
********
Who could have understand that feeling when you see the love of your life walking down the aisle with someone else. Who?
It was that fateful night where it changes both of our lives. I was about to run away with him when I was stopped by my parents who begged me not to leave them for him but instead stay. I refused and after much hesitation my father allowed me to leave when my mother blurted out that my father's company will go down the drain if I walked out this door. I froze and turned to demand to know what's happening and that is when both of them spilled the beans.
While I was on the plane, I took out the letter and read it over and over again with tears rolling down my cheeks while my sad parents looked on. I knew from the moment I decided to board this plane, I will have to carry this guilt everywhere.
I guess it was fate when I came back and bumped into him. He told me that when I didn't show up that night, he went to my house to find me but I had already left. He tried to contact me but to no avail. For years he tried to locate me but then it all ended up with false hope.
The tears was brimming in my eyes as I witness them exchanging vows. But how can I put the blame at him for moving on while it was entirely my fault for leaving without a word. I never pictured my life te way it is now. It's not that I was not happy that he had found the one for him, it's just that I hope that person that he will be kissing now will be me.
Love is indeed something that I will never understand. When I've made the decision to marry a family friend in order to save my father's company and divorced him after he cheated on me was something I should foresee long ago. But it was all too late now wasn't it ? He is now someone's husband and I after all, will just be another memory for him.
ps : I hope you all enjoy a story. Just decided to write on stuff like this due to some old songs i heard on my playlist :p
Labels: a piece from me
1:12 AM
BLESSED
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Blessed as the post title suggest, indeed I truly am for now. Couldn't feel anything else except this overwhelming happiness in myself and also I find no reason to be sad right now. At least till next week. Life is treating me so good these few days and I got no one to thank except God and my family for giving me this opportunity to improve myself.
Last time, I was not a believer of hard work and effort but now I am as every hard work pays off. And for this time, I'm gonna work my ass off to improve myself as much as possible.
Till then, be happy and smile for nothing last forever. Good moments or bad moments.
Might update another piece later.
Loves :)
5:40 PM
CRAZY
Monday, June 24, 2013
The past four days has been a whirlwind of emotional roller coaster ride for me. The mood swings have been somewhat having a soul and body of itself and control me. Blaming it on the period ? Nah, that will not do for I don't know what triggered the crying spells and tantrums in me. I wish I knew so I can solve it and be okay again but then again.
It is only the first week of semester and I am already feeling depressed and having teary spells instead of having positive vibes or feeling enthusiastic about the new semester. With the last semesters results not out and there is 100% I am failing big time it pretty sums up to the horrible feeling I am having right now. God, please bless me.
I wonder when I started to become this depressed and so pessimist about life ? Was it two years back when I first moved here and every night I call out to my parents name and hearing their voice echoing in my ears and having their visions hover me every night before I sleeps made me rip my soul apart. I was lost and hanging and I have no one at all. I shut myself out from the world for a season, only accompanied by my tears every night.
It's been more than two years and sadly, I am still not okay.
At times before I bid the world good night those memories which I've tried so hard to contain in the depths of my brain sometimes come knocking and begged to see me. Those nights would be so hard to endure, every day in here to be exact is hard to endure but what made me strong and made me tell myself that I can do this, is you, the person who has the ability to make me forgo anything.
Life's been hard this days. I feel so empty and angry. I want to go back to the place I belong, somewhere I can be happy.
I miss you old self.
"Always think positive."
But sometimes is just hard, right ?
ps : thinking of deleting my blog.
1:34 PM
SECOND CHOICE TO HELL
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
I've told myself time and again that I will not be anyone's second choice or option anymore but sometimes in life do we stand a choice to always stick to the promises that we had made for our own good, our own selves ? No, I don't think so.
It sucks being a second choice to people whom you care about. That feeling is just like when someone rings you and tell you a news that makes you so happy and then take it back and tell you that it is a joke. That is basically how it feels to be a second choice. But some people beg to differ from this for they believe that if you really love the person, you wouldn't mind being any choice for if you love someone you would do anything.
Well, fuck you and go to hell. It's either you sincerely come and find me or you can go and burn yourself in hell. Any choice is find with me because i'm even your first choice.
10:30 PM
THE TWIST